


I promise

by tatess



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depression, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26676661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatess/pseuds/tatess
Summary: Kenma goes to far during a panic attack and ends up in the hospital.TWSelf harmsuicidehospitals
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	I promise

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so if you have any notes or comments please say them.

kenma does know when this started. maybe it was when kuroo let school so he didn’t see him as often. kenma likes to just sit in his bed and stare at the ceiling until his eyes water enough for him to feel like he crying. he physically couldn’t cry anymore but he had to get it out. it felt nice to release some of those emotions. he never realized how much he wanted those emotions back in this moment. he was helpless. shaking. just an utter mess. if anyone was near him they might’ve thought he was having a seizure. but no, just a bad panick attack. these never end well for him. they either end up with scars that would be with him for the rest of his life or at kuroos doorstep. he knew he couldn’t disturb kuroo though. he even cancelled coming over to kenmas house because he was too busy. kenma thought he just didn’t wanna hang out with him. no. he knew he didn’t wanna hang out with him. shaking on the ground he stayed then.  
after about 5 minutes of hyperventilating and shaking, he could stand and walk. he walked into his bedroom and to his nightstand. he opened it with force he wasn’t aware he was using, causing the drawer to fall out and onto the floor. he scrambled to find what he was looking for. what he needed. he found it and took the plastic covering off and quickly went to his legs. he would usually cut his arms but now he wanted more pain. he cut small at first, testing the waters of the pain. once he figured out his thighs were tougher to cut than his arms, he applied more pressure. he keep applying more and more pressure until blood was dripping off his leg. he loved this. he hated this. he hated that he loved this. he knew it wasn’t right, he knew he shouldn’t do this. he wanted to do this.  
he realized this razor was fuller than normal and went to the bathroom to grab a sharper one. he opened the cabinet door to see his bottle of antidepressants. he stared at them for a few seconds before grabbing the bottle. he placed the pills in his hands while he filled the pill bottle with water. this would help the pain. this will stop it. it’ll all be over soon. he threw all the pills into his mouth and swallowed the water along with it. he refilled the pills bottle with water and took another shot of water. he went to sit down so it would help when he heard a knock on the door. shit. he went down to open the door and find kuroo on his front porch.  
“hey, i finished all my work i had so i was free again but you weren’t picking up the phone. are you ok? you look a little pale” as if on cue, kenma dropped to the floor. kuroo caught him and lowered him to the ground gently before pulling out his phone to call an ambulance. the next thing kenma knows, he’s in a very bright room. so bright that when he opens his eyes, he immediately closes them. he doesn’t realize anyone is in the room with him. his ears are ringing so loud that he can’t hear anything. suddenly, kenma feels a hand on his arm shaking him. he opens up his eyes but his ears are still ringing. he sees a tall man with black hair screaming something at the opposite side of the room as him. he must’ve called a doctor because two rushed in a few seconds after. one of them touched kenmas arm that wasn’t being touched by kuroo and was trying to talk to him while the other doctor was taking of his oxygen mask and moving his IV out of the way so he could sit up. once his eyes adjusted to the light and his ears stopped ringing. he noticed his parents, kuroo, and two doctors in the room.  
“kozume-san can you hear me?” the more feminine of the two doctors asks kenma. he reads her name tag. Yuma. kenma just nods his head hoping they while understand. “ok, we are going to run a few tests. fell free to press the call nurse button if you need something. well be back in about 20 minutes.” with that, both doctors left the room. kuroo turns to look at kenmas parents.  
“can i please speak with him? alone?” they look at each other beefier nodding and heading out. once they leave and close the door kuroo looks to kenma.  
“what happened kenma?” kenma avoided eye contact and looked the other way. “kenma, please talk to me. what happened?” still looking away, kenma began to tear up. all the tears that refused to run suddenly were flooding out. he was crying harder than he ever had. he felt so helpless. he wasn’t even in his own clothes. he knew kuroo knew what happened. he didn’t wanna say it. kuroo scooted kenmas legs and sat on the bed. pulling him into a hug as he cried. kenma cried his heart out and stained kuroo shirt with his tears. kenma didn’t wanna talk. not to kuroo. kuroo would be mad at him. kuroo looked at him with the softest eyes and cupped his face, wiping the tears off with his thumb. after kenma calmed down, he decided he would try to talk.  
“i-i was hav...having a bad day.. and i go-got overwhel-med.” kenma said with a raspy voice. he didn’t know if that explained what kuroo wanted but that’s all he wanted to say.  
“could you tell me more later? you obviously seem pretty shaken up right now.” kenma nodded, thankful that kuroo knows him well enough to know when he uncomfortable. kuroo got up and walked to the door. he opened it and peaked out and invited his parents back in. kenmas parents didn’t contact him much since he lived in his own apartment. even though he was only 18 he lived by himself. his parents weren’t much help or supportive of him so them being there made him uneasy. of course he wasn’t going to ask them to leave. their son just tried to kill himself. kuroo had kenma scoot over on the bed so they laid hip by hip. kenma rest his head of kuroos shoulders and kuroo frappes kenmas hand and rubbed his thumb over it. “your gonna be ok, i promise”


End file.
